Headlines from the year 2029
Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 112
From: Tallahassee, Florida but missing Fort Myers
Headlines from the year 2029
Headlines from the year 2029
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.
Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
Super Moderator
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 1,073
RE: Headlines from the year 2029
Chocolate is recognized as "best cure" for cancer, doctors say.
"Smart" line of Daimler Benz discontinued as consumer's focus on smaller cars.
Soylent Green considered "answer" to america's hunger.
"Smart" line of Daimler Benz discontinued as consumer's focus on smaller cars.
Soylent Green considered "answer" to america's hunger.
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 480
From:
RE: Headlines from the year 2029
Residents of New York are to bring their trash and recycles to a new Freedom Waste Depository, formerly known as New Jersey.
US Passport now restricts its citizens from visiting a few countries including The United Federated States of China.
President of Mexico announces that he will deport US scientists who cross into Mexico to escape prosecution by the ruling Christian government in the US.
Pop star Lindie Layhe finally admits she did Cocaine but never inhaled.
Sales of Chinese auto brand Red Rooster surpasses Honda and Toyota combined.
Last night, CIA knocked down the doors of online forum noise-makers fly_major_fly and Lugnut; shipped them to "re-education camps" in Guantanamo bay.
Courts in Kentucky ban marriages between cousins.
US Passport now restricts its citizens from visiting a few countries including The United Federated States of China.
President of Mexico announces that he will deport US scientists who cross into Mexico to escape prosecution by the ruling Christian government in the US.
Pop star Lindie Layhe finally admits she did Cocaine but never inhaled.
Sales of Chinese auto brand Red Rooster surpasses Honda and Toyota combined.
Last night, CIA knocked down the doors of online forum noise-makers fly_major_fly and Lugnut; shipped them to "re-education camps" in Guantanamo bay.
Courts in Kentucky ban marriages between cousins.
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 3,766
From: Georgia, USA
RE: Headlines from the year 2029
Dick Clark Scheduled To Ring In The New Year.
Edible Cars All The Rage. Commuters Eat Their Underpants AND Car Before Work.
Pat Robertson Finally Completes His Mission of Insulting Every Last Human Being on Earth. His Predictable Backpedaling Expected To Continue Well Into The Future.
Michael Jackson’s Face Falls Off… Lands on Elizabeth Taylor.
Wal-Mart To Launch Rocket To Moon. Discounted Supplies Destined For Moonbase Al Gore.
Google Buys Microsoft. Has Enough Change To Buy Asia and Two Oceans.
Sunbathers Bask in Antarctica. Temps Soar To 85 Degrees F As Sea Levels Rises 20 Feet. Steve Forbes Continues to Deny Global Warming.
McDonalds To Begin Selling Crack And Other Drugs. Regular-Size and Super-Size Available.
Edible Cars All The Rage. Commuters Eat Their Underpants AND Car Before Work.
Pat Robertson Finally Completes His Mission of Insulting Every Last Human Being on Earth. His Predictable Backpedaling Expected To Continue Well Into The Future.
Michael Jackson’s Face Falls Off… Lands on Elizabeth Taylor.
Wal-Mart To Launch Rocket To Moon. Discounted Supplies Destined For Moonbase Al Gore.
Google Buys Microsoft. Has Enough Change To Buy Asia and Two Oceans.
Sunbathers Bask in Antarctica. Temps Soar To 85 Degrees F As Sea Levels Rises 20 Feet. Steve Forbes Continues to Deny Global Warming.
McDonalds To Begin Selling Crack And Other Drugs. Regular-Size and Super-Size Available.
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