CAN'T FIND THE BATTERY ON MY '94 SL 280, IT'S GOTTA BE THERE SOMEWHERE - ANY-BODY GOT AN IDEA?

I'm not familiar with your model.
If its not under the hood then its likely in the boot and under the rear seat.
Stuart

I believe it is in the trunk Right side, there should be a pannel w/ some sort of handle to turn to remove the pannel, your battery should be there.