I had a nightmare last night about one of my childhood traditions.

When I was young, about 8 or so, I would go to church every Sunday with my family. My mom would put a clip-on bowtie on me. I couldn't put it on by myself. Maybe I was younger, I dunno. Anyway, I dreaded that moment every Sunday. She would put it on my collar and push it on. She always jambed that stupid metal clip on the back of the tie right into my collar bones. She wasn't a very talented clip-on bowtie installer. I always screamed in pain. My dad tried a few times, but he did the same thing with the added fun of him lifting me almost off of my feet while he wobbled my head around like a Raggedy Lugnut and wrestled with the clip.

This is how I learned to hate going to church.

 

When was that, last year?(Yuk, yuk)

I go to church and I've noticed that nowadays, the suit and tie is not requied-even for big boys. Perhaps its because chruches realize that the suit and tie expectation 'causes men to press the snooze bar one to many times on Sunday morning. BTW, I go to a traditional church too;one that uses a traditional litrugy; not one of the newer modern liturgical services that seem more like a soft-rock concert with a motivational speaker. (different strokes for different folkes, I guess)

 

You know? It really doesn't matter. I don't know how to tie a bowtie so I'd still need help. I'm not sure if I could even get a clip-on on by myself and my mom passed away. That's why I still won't go to church.

 

i dont know how to tie a bowtie, and i dont think that i would ever wear one. I own a ton of ties, and suits, but no bow ties..

 

here you go:

http://www.tcf.ua.edu/bowtie/

 

No. I don't want to know.

 

But now you do [>:]

 

No. Sorry.