15 Excuses for Calling in Sick

By Rosemary Haefner, Senior Career Adviser for CareerBuilder.com

It's 6 a.m. and you are about to throw the alarm clock out the window. It's too cold out, you're tired, you had one glass of wine too many last night, you've really got to clean your house, and, most importantly, you haven't had some real bonding time with your couch lately.

"Just call in," you tell yourself. "They can get by one day without me."

So, in your best sick voice, you leave a near-death sounding message for your boss and throw in a cough just to make it believable. Ferris Bueller has nothing on you!

The art of playing hooky
CareerBuilder.com recently took a look at employees who call in sick with bogus excuses. Forty-three percent of workers said they called in sick when they felt well at least once during the last year, up from 35 percent in the 2004 survey.

The most popular motivator for missing work: good, old-fashioned rest. Almost 23 percent of workers said they just wanted to relax and catch up on sleep. Seventeen percent said they just didn't feel like going in, 16 percent attributed it to a doctor's appointment, and 9 percent said they had to catch up on housework and run personal errands.

Three-day weekend or mid-week break?
Thirty-eight percent of workers said they viewed sick days as equivalent to vacation days. The most popular day for calling in sick when feeling well was Wednesday, with 27 percent of workers getting over the mid-week hump by fabricating an excuse. While extended weekend absences were also popular, with 26 percent of workers calling in sick on Monday and 14 percent on Friday, those partaking may have put themselves at more risk of scrutiny.

Your boss is no fool.
Sixty-three percent of hiring managers said they are more suspicious of employees calling in sick on a Monday or Friday. The survey also revealed that some hiring managers were less tolerant of workers playing hooky, with almost one-fourth stating they fired an employee for missing work without a legitimate reason. While the definition of a sick day has evolved, with more employers including mental health and special circumstances in the description, workers should be mindful of company policies and their responsibilities as an employee.

"I was abducted by aliens..."
When asked to share the most unusual excuses workers gave for missing work, hiring managers shared some of their favorite examples:


"I'm too drunk to drive to work."


"I accidentally flushed my keys down the toilet."


"I had to help deliver a baby on my way to work." (Employee was not in the medical profession.)


"I accidentally drove through the automatic garage door before it opened."


"My boyfriend's snake got loose and I'm afraid to leave the bedroom until he gets home."


"I'm too fat to get into my work pants."


"God didn't wake me." (Employee didn't believe in alarm clocks and thought a higher power would wake her when she was ready.)


"I cut my fingernails too short, they're bleeding and I have to go to the doctor."


"The ghosts in my house kept me up all night."


"I forgot I was getting married today."


"My cow bit me."


"My son accidentally fell asleep next to wet cement in our backyard. His foot fell in and we can't get it out."


"I was watching a guy fixing a septic pump, fell in the hole and hurt myself."


"I was walking my dog and slipped on a toad in my driveway and hurt my back."


"My house lock jammed, and I'm locked in."

 

16) "I was doing coke with my girlfriend until 4 AM when we ran out. So, I have to either find some more or crash."

17) "My new girlfriend took 7 hours to get into the mood, so I am too tired to function today."

18) "I have a job interview today and can't miss it."

19) "I can't make it in because ESPN 2 is showing "3" at 9:30 AM."

20) "My wife left me last night and I need to find another one today."

21 "My mom wants to take me clothes shopping at the mall during the 2-hour sale this morning."

 

When I have a job i can that i have never called in one day. In fact one day when i was getting ready for work there was like six inches of snow on the ground and the manager called me and said he was not opening the store that day.

 

There is no such thing as calling in sick in the military. It's called AWOL or going to sick call which basically is a total waste of time unless ya have one foot in the coffin.

 

An easy way to get yourself fired...



-Matt-

 

Of course these are suppose to be ridiculous

 

The one that says "My house lock jammed, and I'm locked in." could be semi-serious!

When I was vacationing out in Cali, I was staying with my cousin in LA. He locked the front door on his way to school...the only way to unlock it is by the outside of the door, with the key. He had those multi-plate glass windows. So, I couldn't even open a window to crawl out. My other cousin and I tried taking the plates out to get out, but it wasn't working. We tried him on his cell phone...but he left it at the house. Finally, the landlord was walking by, and saw me trying to squeeze out of the window and asked me what the hell I was doing. I told him we were locked in. He laughed, went back to his house and got a key to let us out. Worst day EVER!

 

That would have sucked but makes a good story.

 

Haha, yeah...I never thought it to be possible to get locked in somewhere and literally not be able to get out. What a waste of a vacation day. We were locked in for 5 hours.

 

i have called off from a job for an interview elsewhere...

i have also had to call off from a job in pittsburgh because my car had been impounded in detroit...[:@]